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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28034616">Things We Left Behind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryladante/pseuds/Ryladante'>Ryladante</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual Dean Winchester, F/M, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Kissing, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Slow Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:48:02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,547</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28034616</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryladante/pseuds/Ryladante</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The snap happened, everything is back in place but not for Sam, and certainly not for Dean. Can he move on without Cas? Does he even have to?</p><p>I hadn't written anything in almost 11 years, but when the series ended, and things didnt go quite as I would have liked, I decided to get back into writing.</p><p>The story is not my best, and probably laced with inconsistencies from the series, but I did my best.</p><p>Enjoy!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Things We Left Behind</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Things We Left Behind</p><p>Dean sucked in air as the door slammed behind him, the sound resounding throughout the empty bunker. His brother working his way down the stairs, saying something. Dean was in his own world, so he failed to hear him. He didn't realize he had been holding his breath, so he let it out between tight, thin lips. </p><p>It had been a month since Jack had made everything right again, or so it would seem. They had been doing nearly back to back cases since then, and Dean was simply running on autopilot at this point. He had thought it would help to get himself to get back into the game, but it only seemed to make things worse. They were alone, just the two of them.</p><p>Sam spoke again, this time louder.</p><p>“Dean, you okay? You're just standing there.”</p><p>The spot between his eyes crinkled up like it always did. He was concerned. Dean slowly shook his head, shaking himself from his stupor. He feigned a smile, then waved a hand at his brother.</p><p>“Yeah man, just fine. I'm gonna get a beer. You want one?”</p><p>The younger of the two nodded gently as Dean sidled passed him. He shrugged his shoulders, figuring Dean was tired from their recent case and just needed to a little R&amp;R.</p><p>Being on the road again had been good for him. It kept his mind occupied, and stopped him from going crazy. He needed the distraction. If he stopped working he would have broken long ago.</p><p>Over in the kitchen, Dean was fiddling with his phone while sipping on a beer. Sam grabbed the other beer off the counter and took a seat. He watched him press buttons and flip through things on the device, when he suddenly stopped. Dean's face turned cold, almost sickly. He bit his upper lip hard, and gripped the phone so much, Sam was sure he was going to break it. </p><p>Something flashed in Dean's eyes, something Sam was sure he had seen before, but then nothing. Dean shut the phone off, downed his beer and spun around. His long legs carried him toward his room in a fury. He threw the door open and then slammed it. </p><p>Sam flinched. What the hell had just happened to cause his brother to freak out like that? He slowly worked his way to Dean's room, not sure what he would do when he got there. </p><p>He lifted a hand preparing to knock, but he could hear a noise in the room, like shuffling feet. Sam placed his ear to the door, when something broke against the door, causing him to pull back. Now he knew something was wrong.</p><p>“Dean.”</p><p>Sam said softly, not sure what he was about to hear. He braced for whatever wrath Dean was about to throw his way, however, nothing happened. Utter silence emanated from beyond the barrier before him. Sam shook his head, and grabbed the door knob, rattling it. Locked. He cursed under his breath.</p><p>“Dean, are you okay?”</p><p>He eagerly awaited Dean's response, but still nothing. For what seemed like forever, Sam waited, when finally he heard a grunt from the other side of the door. Dean muttered something unintelligible, then the silence resumed. </p><p>“Come on Dean. The door's locked. Let me in.”</p><p>More shuffling, another grunt. It sounded like Dean was pacing the room. The shuffling came closer to the door and then stopped.</p><p>“I'm fine Sammy. I just need to think for a little while okay?”</p><p>Sam sighed heavily. His brother was covering for something, but he knew better than to push. If he did that, he would never get anything out of him. He placed his hand against the door and then walked away, hoping that whatever was now bothering Dean was going to be short lived, and not what he assumed it was. If so, Dean wouldn't be the only one.</p><p> </p><p>- - -</p><p> </p><p>The phone was gripped tightly in his hand. He breathed in, his bottom lip starting to quiver. He wasn't accustomed to feeling like this, at least not so hard. He had never experienced sadness the way he was right now as he looked at the photo that stared back at him. He barely remembered taking it, but there it was just the same.</p><p>Cas stared back him, eyes crinkled up due to that immense smile of his, bright blue eyes that engulfed you in a simple look. It was a candid shot. Cas was waving his hand at the camera as if to say stop, we have more important things to do.  However, it was obvious his face told a different story.</p><p>Dean set the phone down beside him, a single tear slipping from his own eyes. He had made a mistake that day, maybe the biggest of his 41 years. He had known for a while what he felt for Cas, but he never could get up the courage to say it. When He finally heard it from Cas' lips, it was too late. He would never get the chance to tell him how he felt, how he wanted to be with him more than anything. It was always too late.</p><p>He wanted more than just a beer bottle to throw, he wanted something to hit, to attack. He wanted to let out all this misery on something, someone, anything. Instead he began to cry, to curse the new man in charge.</p><p>“Hands off huh? Yeah well fuck you Jack. I think your new rules suck.”</p><p>He sat up in bed and before he could stop himself, punched the wall next to his bed so hard his hand was bleeding. The blood trickled to the floor in a small dark puddle. The image of the darkness taking Cas away came to Dean's mind, causing his stomach to lurch. He rushed to the bathroom, barely making it in time. He vomited hard, the acid burning his throat as it slid past his lips. He gagged a few more times, then wiped at his mouth. </p><p>All of this ruckus had caused Sam to rush back to the door. He didn't even knock this time, he just bashed into it, causing it to swing open on its hinges. He stopped short of the bed. Looking to his right he saw Dean crumpled on the bathroom floor, his head in his knees.</p><p>Sam's heart sank. It was a rare thing to see his brother in a state like this, so broken and despondent. His eyes watered, knowing what had caused it, knowing he felt the same. When he lost Eileen to the snap, he tried to hide it, but it almost killed him. He hadn't given his heart so deeply to someone in so long. Not since Jessica had he been this happy. When he found her phone and knew she was gone, it was as if he had lost a part of himself.</p><p>Now here sat his brother, a lesser shell of his former self. His arms wrapped around his legs, his head dug into his knees to try and hide the sobs that echoed against the modest bathroom walls. </p><p>Dean may not have been able to admit it to anyone, but everyone knew how much he felt for Castiel. Sam could see it in his brother's eyes whenever they were around each other. The love Dean had for the angel was undeniable. Sam knew his brother had been scared to let his heart open to too many people, especially when it came to having romantic relationships. He knew that when Dean would give his heart to someone in that way, it would not just be a part, but completely, and forever. </p><p>“He told me Sam,”</p><p>A soft mumble came from Dean's legs, almost inaudible. Sam moved into the bathroom, leaning toward his brother. He could hear Dean's breath catch as he spoke again.</p><p>“He told me, he told me he loved me.” </p><p>Dean looked up at his brother, wiping tears from his eyes. Sam placed a hand on Dean's shoulder reassuringly and sighed heavily. He didn't have to ask who Dean was talking about, his devastated appearance was enough.</p><p>“I didn't get the chance to say it back Sammy.”</p><p>Dean sat up a bit straighter, sniffling. He looked Sam right in the eye.</p><p>“I needed to say it, I needed him to hear it. For years I had been wanting to, but I was too afraid. Hearing him say it was like the push I needed, but it was too late Sam. Now I'll never see him again.”</p><p>He leaned his head against the sink, closing his eyes tight. His breath was deep and heavy. Sam just sat there with his hand on his brother's shoulder. He didn't know what to say, didn't know if there was anything to say. His brother was missing something that had been almost as close to him as Sam was. No words could heal the pain of a loss like that. Only time could.</p><p> </p><p>- - -</p><p> </p><p>The wind flowed gently through his dark hair as tears slipped down his careworn face. The deal he had made was for all the right reasons, to save the man he loved. However in the end it tore his heart in twain. It was a feeling he had been holding onto for many years, far too many to count. The closer he got to Dean the more he realized he was more than a friend to him, but someone he wanted to spend eternity with. </p><p>It looked like eternity had other plans.</p><p>A rustling of leaves startled him from his thoughts. He spun around to see Jack standing there, smiling that innocent way he always did. The young man, now the leader of Heaven itself, stood with an air that surprised Cas every time he saw him. It was all too new to him. He wasn't sure he would ever get used to the man he once called his son in such position of power. It boggled the mind.</p><p>“Having a moment of clarity Cas?”</p><p>Jack stepped beside the older man and leaned against a tree, the sun lighting his face making him look even more angelic than he ever had before. Cas wiped a stray tear from his cheek and sighed. He wasn't ready for this.</p><p>“You could call it that. I just don't know what to do.”</p><p>He turned away from Jack, swallowing hard. He was about to cry again, and thought it best if no one saw but him. He laughed at the thought. Jack was God, he saw everything, like he could hide something so simple as tears. Yet it made him feel better all the same.</p><p>“I'm alone here.”</p><p>His trench coat caught the wind as he gestured at the expanse before them. It was all so beautiful, with aging maple trees, falling leaves and a scent of pumpkins in the air. Cas knew the whole thing was an imitation, just a place to remind him of home, to try and make him happy, however in the end it made him feel even more empty than before.</p><p>“I've been alone all my life. That is until I found Sam and Dean. They both meant the world to me. Especially Dean.”</p><p>Jack crossed his arms, nodding slowly. He may be God now, but he was still Jack inside. He had been along side the hunters for a long time before now. He saw things and picked up on subtle clues. There was something there between Dean and Cas, something that was just below the surface for a long time before he came along. He could tell Cas was hurting.</p><p>“I know Cas, and I am sorry. Things ended up the way they did, and no one can change them.”</p><p>There angel spun around tears still in his eyes. This time he didn't care who saw him. He stared at Jack with a mixture of hope and sadness in his eyes. </p><p>“Oh no? But you can. You have the ability to change all of this, you've done it once, you can do it again.”</p><p>Cas' breath caught as he spoke. He hated lowering himself to this level, to almost begging, but he needed Jack to know how he felt.</p><p>Jack sighed heavily, and moved away from the tree. He brushed at his shirt absentmindedly trying to avoid the subject. This was not a subject he wanted to discuss right now even though he had known it was bound to be approached sooner or later. It irked him to no end.</p><p>“Then why did you bring me back from the Empty? To simply torture me?”</p><p>More tears slid past his wide eyes. He was beginning to lose it, to regret the deal he had made, regret even being. It hurt more than any hell he had ever endured in all his years. He wanted it over here and now.</p><p>“Look Cas, when I retrieved you from the Empty, it wasn't just you. I brought back all those trapped in the empty and sent them back to their proper places. Besides, you needed to be in Heaven where you belong. That's all. I cant do anything else.”</p><p>He turned from Cas, mumbling something to himself. He wanted to drop it, to just move on. Inside, even as an omniscient being, there were some things he didn't want to have control over. He hated it.</p><p>As he started to walk away, he felt himself being shoved into the large maple. The hand on his chest was shaking, not from anger as he thought it would be, but from pure emotional distress. It gripped his shirt tight to calm itself, but that simply made it worse. Jack grabbed the hand in his, soothing it.</p><p>“Please Jack, you have to do this for me.”</p><p>Another shake of his head.</p><p>“I can't. You have to understand how things work now.”</p><p>His hand slipped away from Cas'. Cas took a deep breath.</p><p>“I don't pull the strings like Chuck did, you have free will to you as you please.”</p><p>Cas blinked and swallowed hard. He had hoped he would get through to Jack, but he wasn't truly Jack anymore, not really. He felt defeated, as if his world had come crumbling down for a second time. He was truly alone.</p><p>Cas began to turn away when something struck him. Free will. He had an idea.</p><p>“Ok,”</p><p>He stood with his hands linked together. The idea had been on his mind for a long time now, but he needed the opening that Jack gave him to be able to execute it. He just hoped it would work.</p><p>“If I have free will, then that means I can do anything right?”</p><p>Jack nodded. Cas continued.</p><p>“Well, then I would like to use that free will...to give up my grace.”</p><p>Looking at the man before him Jack was taken aback. This was not quite what he was expecting to hear from the angel standing in front of him. He stood up straight concentrating on Cas.</p><p>“You do realize that that entails, correct?”</p><p>Cas simply nodded. </p><p>“Are you sure you want this? If you do this you can never be an angel again, and you will be stuck on Earth until, well, you know.”</p><p>Cas nodded again.</p><p>“I am well aware of the consequences. It's what I want.”</p><p>Moving in front of Cas, he placed a hand on the angel's chest. </p><p>Jack started to say something, and Cas started to feel warm. He took a deep breath and pulled the hand away. Jack stared at him confused.</p><p>“I thought this was what you wanted.”</p><p>It was, but something else came to him, and he wanted to bring it up before it was too late. He would have hated himself if he hadn't.</p><p>“It is, but I have something else to ask before this happens.”</p><p>The younger man stepped back, a slow smile forming on his lips. </p><p>“Oh?”</p><p> </p><p>- - -</p><p> </p><p>As a beer slid across the marble kitchen counter top, Dean cleared his throat. He hated showing his emotions like that. He always considered himself to be the strong one, always had to be. Sam was his to take care of, no matter how old he was. Saving people was more important than his own feelings. Yet, here he was falling apart over a single man he would never see again. It was unlike him. It almost scared him.</p><p>“Look Sam, about earlier...”</p><p>Waving his hand, Sam shook his head. He completely understood what Dean was going through. He wanted Eileen back just as much Dean wanted Cas. Sadly, he knew that would never happen.</p><p>“Hey, I get it. If anyone understands, it's me. You never have to apologize for that to me.”</p><p>Dean forced a small half smile and took a swig from his beer. It was cold, but it seemed to have lost its flavor. That had been happening to him a lot lately. Most things he ate or drank were just to sustain him, but he didn't seem to really taste much of anything. He felt like he was losing it.</p><p>“Thanks Sam. I just need to deal with this before it takes me over completely.”</p><p>Sam nodded, taking a drink from his own beer. As he was about to say something else, there was a loud bang at the bunker door. They both jumped up, pulling their guns without even thinking about it.</p><p>“You expecting anyone?”</p><p>Half jokingly, Sam said looking toward the main area. Dean gave a halfhearted chuckle and shook his head. </p><p>Sam waved for Dean to wait, while he went to check it out. His brother nodded, his gun at the ready. </p><p>Walking slowly toward the stairs, Sam jumped as the door banged again. His heart leapt in his chest. They hadn't had any visitors in over a month, so hearing someone banging heavily on the door was a bit concerning. </p><p>Approaching the door, he took a deep breath and swung it open. He pointed the gun at the person standing before him. Who he saw before him was not what he was expecting in the slightest. </p><p>Standing before him in the door way, clad in his tan trench coat and dark suit, was Castiel, a smile on his face. Sam took a step back, not believing what he was seeing. There was no way Cas could be here.</p><p>As if reading his mind, Cas spoke softly.</p><p>“It's really me, well sort of any way.”</p><p>Confusion found it's home on Sam's face once again, and he cocked his head to one side eyeing Cas suspiciously. What did he mean by that?</p><p>“Um, sort of? What does that mean.”</p><p>A soft chuckle came from the older man.</p><p>“Let's just say flying is out of the question for now and the foreseeable future.”</p><p>With realization hitting him, Sam smiled. Lowering the gun he had forgotten he was still pointing at Cas, he stepped forward, catching something out of the corner of his eye.</p><p>“Oh, I didn't come alone.”</p><p>Cas stepped out of the door way. Behind him stood someone Sam had been mourning the last month, yet wouldn't let himself show it on the outside until now. Tears fell as the dark haired woman stepped forward. She signed “I missed you.” and his heart broke into a million pieces. </p><p>“How?”</p><p>Barely getting out the word through sobs, Sam had to lean against the door frame to keep himself steady.</p><p>“Jack decided to break his rules, just this once. He believed this was his only unfinished business, and it was only right he complete it. He saw our pain, and knew he couldn't have been able to live an eternity with that on his conscience.”</p><p>Thanking Cas profusely, he wrapped his arms around Eileen, kissing her deeply. He had dreamed of this moment, so sure it would never happen. Now that it had, he would never let her go again.</p><p>“Sorry to interrupt, but where's Dean?”</p><p>Sam chuckled, pulling away from the kiss. </p><p>“He's in the kitchen.”</p><p>Descending the stairs, Cas made his way to the kitchen. His heart skipped a beat as he touched the door way. He was actually scared to death, something he wasn't used to. This was altogether new to him. He only hoped Dean needed him as much as Cas had needed him.</p><p>Sitting at the counter, Dean had his gun in front of him, tapping his hand on the marble counter top. He looked impatient. Edging his way off the stool he was perched on he moved toward the door way.</p><p>“Hey Sam, what the hell is taking so long. You ok out there?”</p><p>Before he could take another step, Cas slid into frame. Dean struggled to comprehend what he was seeing at that very moment. He blinked a few times, then rubbed his eyes. The vision before him didn't move. There was no way this was real, he was dreaming, or under the influence of some wicked magic. Either way it wasn't funny, and he didn't like it.</p><p>“You're not real. You can't be.”</p><p>Tears threatened to take up residence in Dean's eyes at that very moment. The only man he had ever loved was standing before him, somehow, and he had to figure out why and how. His stomach tightened.</p><p>“No Dean, I'm very real.”</p><p>Stepping closer, Cas placed a hand on Dean's face. At the touch of the other man's skin on his, Dean's walls broke. All emotions let lose at once and he began to cry uncontrollably. Cas pulled him close, holding Dean as tight as possible, letting him  expel the weight that had been on his shoulder the last month. Dean's body shuddered , his arms wrapped around Cas for support, because if not he would have simply collapsed into an emotional ball on the floor.</p><p>As his sobs slowed to sniffles, Dean pulled back, wiping at his face. Cas looked at him with those eyes that always seemed to know everything, he spoke.</p><p>“Cas, how are you here?”</p><p>Wiping a stray tear from Dean's face, he gave him a crooked smile. Dean closed his eyes for a moment at the touch, then opened them again.</p><p>“I gave up my grace to come back.”</p><p>Dean shook his head, closing his eyes tight. Not quite the answer he was hoping for.</p><p>“Why would you do that?”</p><p>Cas pulled him closer so that they were within mere inches from each other. Dean shivered. The closeness made his brain think things he had only dreamed about. He bit his bottom lip.</p><p>“Because of free will Dean.”</p><p>His hands gripped the back of Dean's shirt hard. His eyes glinted in the overhead light, causing his blue eyes to shine like diamonds. Dean couldn't stop himself, so much had happened lately, hell in his entire life, and he needed this. Their lips collided hard, awkwardly, fumbling for dominance. Within a moment the connection they had over the years kicked in, and the kiss slowed and became more passionate. Dean dug his fingers into Cas' hair, and Cas tightened his grip on Dean.</p><p>After what felt like a lifetime, yet was only a minute, Dean pulled away. He was breathing hard. Cas' eyes were closed and he looked so peaceful. Running a hand through Cas' hair, Dean spoke.</p><p>“I want to say something, something I have wanted to say for so long it has been killing me inside.”</p><p>Opening his eyes, Cas smiled. He was well aware of what Dean wanted to say. However he knew Dean needed to say this, to finally get this off his chest.</p><p>“Cas, I...For so long I have held my feelings to myself when it came to relationships. I get scared to let anyone in, to let anyone love me. Yet something changed when I met you. My walls started to crumble. You made me see a different side of myself, someone deserving of love, and who could love. What you told me before you left, it tore down the final wall, leaving me exposed and vulnerable. Without you, I was sure I was never going to find anyone to fill that void. But, I have been granted a second chance, and I am not going to squander it.”</p><p>Kissing Cas deeply on the lips again, Dean continued.</p><p>“Cas, with all my heart, I love you too.”</p><p>Now it was Cas' turn to cry. He had known Dean felt the same for him, but those words touched him in ways he didn't know existed. It meant more to him than a simple I love you. It was the reason he sacrificed everything, and he knew Dean would do the same.</p><p> </p><p>- - -</p><p> </p><p>Some time later, the four of them were sitting at one of the tables, laughing and drinking. It felt good to simply let go and be normal again. To just have the family back together. </p><p>As the laughter ensued, Eileen leaned forward, setting her beer on the table. She looked at Cas with a crooked smile on her face.</p><p>“Let me get this straight. You were the leader of a...”</p><p>Her smile broadened.</p><p>“A sex cult?”</p><p>Sam almost choked on his beer from laughing so hard. He didn't expect her to bring it up right there in front of Dean. His brother swallowed hard, red beginning to travel past his collar. Cas laughed loudly, patting Dean on the knee.</p><p>“Well, not quite a sex cult.”</p><p>Out of the corner of his eye he could see Dean shifting in his seat. For some reason he looked uncomfortable talking about this. He gripped Dean's knee again, reassuring him. Dean stopped squirming. </p><p>“Also, it wasn't me exactly, it was a future me. I guess my future self was heavy into orgies.”</p><p>This time Sam spit out his beer and laughed so hard he almost fell from his chair. Eileen sat back in her seat and signed something to him.</p><p>“Very interesting.”</p><p>Dean placed his face in his hand and groaned. Cas patted him on the back.</p><p>“Sorry Dean, didn't mean to upset you.”</p><p>Shaking his head, Dean took a drink. He was bright red. </p><p>“No, I'm fine. Don't worry about it.”</p><p>When the moment had passed, Cas moved to get everyone more beers, he noticed something on the table. In all the frivolity, he had missed it. Next to one of the lamps were four names carved into to the table. He smiled when he saw his own had been added to Sam and Dean's. </p><p>When he saw Jack's, his heart dropped. The one person missing from their tight night family. Yes he was still alive and the leader of Heaven, but it just wasn't the same, not really. He sighed heavily.</p><p>Seeing what he had been looking at, Sam smiled. He walked up beside him and placed a hand on Cas' shoulder. Cas smiled back. An idea struck him.</p><p>“It's only fair we add one more name. After all she is part of the family, right?”</p><p>Sam nodded, taking out his pocket knife, and began to carve Eileen's name in the table. The others watched with curiosity as the splinters flew, wondering what Sam was doing. When the first letter appeared, it became obvious what was happening, and a lone tear slipped from Eileen's eyes. </p><p>“Thank you Sam. You mean so much to me, in fact all of you do. I've never been this close to anyone before, and I am glad to have such a group of people to call family.”</p><p>Once Sam finished her name, he walked back around the table and kissed her softly.  Dean looked at Cas and reached for his hand, holding it tight. It was home, it was safe.</p><p>Cas pulled back, his smile still firmly in place. </p><p>“Can I ask you something?”</p><p>Leaning in to Dean's ear, Cas whispered lightly and softly. Dean shivered as the air touched his skin. He struggled to answer.</p><p>“Um, uh, yeah. Anything.”</p><p>Redness slipped past his collar once again. Cas gave him an sly smile.</p><p>“Do you mind if...”</p><p>Dragging out the tension, knowing he was bothering Dean to no end, Cas chuckled lightly to himself.</p><p>“If I change my clothes?”</p><p>They both looked at his clothes, the ones he had arrived in all the years ago, and Dean chuckled, still flustered. Cas pulled at his tie, beginning to feel less and less at home in the ensemble. He was human now, he needed something much more appropriate. </p><p>Nodding, Dean pointed to his room which had since been cleaned and the door fixed from the earlier encounter. Cas thanked him and headed in that direction.</p><p>For a little while longer they all sat and talked some more, Sam occasionally stopping to kiss Eileen on the cheek or nose. Dean started feeling like the proverbial third wheel, so he excused himself to check on how Cas was getting along.</p><p>Leaning against the door jamb, Dean could see that Cas was having a serious problem picking out clothes. He was like a girl on her first date, and not sure what dress goes with what shoes. Cas kept taking shirts off and putting them back in drawers and then trying on things in the closet. He seemed lost.</p><p>“Try the blue shirt you just had on, goes well with your eyes.”</p><p>Turning around in just a pair of jeans, Cas held the shirt in his hand, almost shocked at the interruption. He closed his eyes, and bit his top lip.</p><p>“How long have you been there?”</p><p>A slow smile began to form on Dean's face. He moved away from the door frame and  into the room.</p><p>“Long enough.”</p><p>The shirt slid over his head as he moved toward Dean. They were within mere inches from each other. The heat between them was immense and enough to catch the room on fire. Dean began to breath hard and fast, licking his lips. </p><p>Cas stepped closer, closing the gap, and placed his hand on Dean's face. Dean leaned into it, his eyes closed tight. This was more than he could handle, he was one the verge, on the edge. One more movement from either of them would cause him to fall and he would never be the same again.</p><p>All Cas could think about was holding Dean, loving him, emotionally and physically. It was what he had wanted for so long, yearned for it. Now here he was, the opportunity had presented itself, and by god, he was going to take it.</p><p>Kissing Dean hard on the mouth, he spun him around so fast Dean didn't even have time to think. They both landed hard on the bed, the springs groaning under the weight. Cas pulled away, slipping his shirt off and tossing it to the floor. Dean could only stare. He wasn't in control, was unable to fight it. So he simply went along, for now.</p><p>Cas continued kissing Dean, first on the mouth, then slowly down the left side of his neck until he reached Dean's shirt. In a flash Dean's own shirt was up and over his head before he could protest. Not that he wanted to. </p><p>Stopping at Dean's warding tattoo, Cas ran a finger around it slowly and purposefully. It fascinated him that something so simple as a tattoo could stop evil from invading the body. He knew now that being human himself, he would have to get one. He sighed heavily.</p><p>That gave Dean the out he needed and before Cas could blink, he was now under him. Dean stared down at him, not with the hunger Cas thought he would have, but with a deep connection that only someone that in love could have. </p><p>Placing a hand on Cas' face, his eyes began to water. He lowered his head, breathing deeply. Cas' own hand touched his gently reassuring him.</p><p>“We don't have to do this if you're not ready Dean.”</p><p>Dean sat up, his legs straddling either side of Cas' thighs. He shook his head. He loved this man, there was no doubt about it, and he as ready to be with him fully. Yes he was scared, but he knew Cas loved him back and that as all he needed.</p><p>Leaning down into Cas' ear, Dean whispered slowly.</p><p>“I've always been ready.”</p><p>An hour later, they lay beside each other, staring into each others eyes. Cas was leaning on his elbow, and continuously ran his hand through Dean's hair, while Dean lay on his back, his arms across his chest. He wished he could save this moment forever.</p><p>“I love you Dean.”</p><p>Cas stopped brushing his fingers through Dean's hair. Dean rolled over and linked his fingers in Cas', their fingers rubbing together gently as he did. It was where he always wanted to be. The love of his life lying next to him, hand in hand, heart to heart. He never wanted to leave this moment, never wanted it to end.</p><p>“I love you too Cas.”</p><p>They had finally found each other. Through all the tragedy the world, that heaven and hell, had thrown at them, they managed to struggle through it all. It hadn't been easy, far from it, but at least they were finally right where they belonged: Together.</p>
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